2′ reading time
A quick and charming way to boost your self-esteem can be found… in a folder!
When you feel your confidence is fading away and you need to bring it back quickly and firmly… dive into your PrideFolder!
The PrideFolder is a specific place (it could be digital – easily accessible anytime from your smartphone, or real – at home/office) where you collect ALL the great feedback, emails, compliments, testimonials you’ve received so far. And I’m sure you’ve received plenty, each time smiling and thinking “Wow, that’s really nice to hear!”… but then you left where they are. Isn’t a pity to get such wealth forgotten? Wouldn’t make you feel great diving into it once in a while, to remind you how great and appreciated you are?
You know where to find them, it’s just probably not on top of your mind right now… Scan your Facebook, Whatsapp, email, Linkedin, texts and every single channel you use to communicate with the rest of the world.
Building your own PrideFolder will help you:
You may be surprised to know the majority of my clients reach me in search of a boost of their self-esteem because they lack 2 fundamental things:
When I ask them to do this exercise, I can see an immediate shift in their attitude (I love that moment!): positiveness and confidence arise.
Research shows, in fact, that after thinking about happy events for just 12 minutes, people get more positive, feel better about themselves, and have higher expectations of what they can achieve in the future (on the flip-side, those who think about negative events for about 12 minutes rate themselves as less-confident, friendly, popular and intelligent – see “Influence of affect on cognitive social learning person variables” – Wright & Mischel).
The scientific foundation of this tool is that positive mood leads to inspired actions. In fact:
Positive memories have the power to make the future seem brighter, triggering a proactive behavior. Use them.
Ideally, you want to dive into your PrideFolder right before starting a new challenge or taking a relevant decision.
If you, too, tend to forget how great you are, then start right now building your PrideFolder . Take some time to stop, breathe, feel and smell your greatness, looking at your past achievements from a wider perspective. Celebrate who you are and how much the world loves you (no matter how old those messages are!). Keep those gratifications alive, and they will serve you as a solid ground for your self-esteem.
Enjoy it, and let me know how your PrideFolder looks & feel! Write below, please.
Shall we give it a go?
STEP 1: Close your eyes and imagine where you’d like to see yourself in five years. Do you want to be meeting people you’ve always wanted to work with? Or maybe you see yourself celebrating your first £1 million or saving people from poverty and starvation or selling your art around the world?
STEP 2: Now, step into that image and start feeling the emotions and sensations that this situation brings. Feeling them is key; in fact more than a visualisation, I call it “emotionalisation”. The more you use your senses, the more real it will feel, which will inspire you to make concrete steps in that direction.
The key is making your brain and your body feel that it is real, it possible, and it’s already here. That will remove all those barriers you tend to put to protect yourself from potential disappointment, believing it’s not going to happen, it’s not possible, you’re not good enough for that… you know what I mean.
But the time to play safe is gone, now it’s time to move on and to do so you need to Think & Act differently. So if doing this exercise makes you feel uncomfortable and triggers some doubts… you’re on the right route! Keep pushing, that’s how it has to be in order to work.
Remember, the quality of your life is impacted by the quality of your emotions. Always keep an eye on how you feel, what makes you lose sight on time and what drains your energy. When you honour all that, life always responds with great opportunities.
Then see and feel yourself “there” before you make any move and it will all look much more doable.