BRUNA DE PALO Central London or International      +44 (0) 745 0804523
BRUNA DE PALO Central London or International      +44 (0) 745 0804523

Think & Act differently

Quick boost of self-esteem: the LoveFolder.

2′ reading time

quick boost of self-confidence

A quick and charming way to boost your self-esteem can be found… in a folder!

When you feel your confidence is fading away and you need to bring it back quickly and firmly… dive into your LoveFolder!

The LoveFolder is a specific place (it could be digital – easily accessible anytime from your smartphone, or real – at home/office) where you collect ALL the great feedback, emails, compliments, testimonials you’ve received so far. And I’m sure you’ve received plenty, each time smiling and thinking “Wow, that’s really nice to hear!”… but then you left where they are. Isn’t a pity to get such wealth forgotten? Wouldn’t make you feel great diving into it once in a while, to remind you how great and appreciated you are?

  1. Then find them!
  2. Collect them all together.
  3. Reconnect with the spark they gave you.
  4. Let them boost you again, keep them alive.

You know where to find them, it’s just probably not on top of your mind right now… Scan your Facebook, Whatsapp, email, Linkedin, texts and every single channel you use to communicate with the rest of the world.

Building your own LoveFolder will help you:

  • Feel great when you do it!
  • Be conscious of your value seeing it, touching it, absorbing it
  • Providing a place where you can go each time you feel low where you can breathe, feel and smell the recognition you’ve received so far.

You may be surprised to know the majority of my clients reach me in search of a boost of their self-esteem because they lack 2 fundamental things:

    1. The celebration of their past achievements, often taken for granted
    2. A structure that reminds them how great they are

When I ask them to do this exercise, I can see an immediate shift in their attitude (I love that moment!): positiveness and confidence arise.

Research shows, in fact, that after thinking about happy events for just 12 minutes, people get more positive, feel better about themselves, and have higher expectations of what they can achieve in the future (on the flip-side, those who think about negative events for about 12 minutes rate themselves as less-confident, friendly, popular and intelligent – see “Influence of affect on cognitive social learning person variables” – Wright & Mischel).

The scientific foundation of this tool is that positive mood leads to inspired actions. In fact:

Positive memories have the power to make the future seem brighter, triggering a proactive behavior. Use them. Click To Tweet

Ideally, you want to dive into your LoveFolder right before starting a new challenge or taking a relevant decision.

If you, too, tend to forget how great you are, then start right now building your LoveFolder. Take some time to stop, breathe, feel and smell your greatness, looking at your past achievements from a wider perspective. Celebrate who you are and how much the world loves you (no matter how old those messages are!). Keep those gratifications alive, and they will serve you as a solid ground for your self-esteem.

Enjoy it, and let me know how your LoveFolder looks & feel! Write below, please.


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16 Responses
  1. Gaynor Smith

    I love this idea! Bruna introduced this simple technique to me, and I now have a beautiful golden notebook in which I write compliments. It’s so easy to let criticism or hurtful words ‘stick’ in our minds while the compliments get lost. Since I’ve been doing this I’ve also found that I’ve become more attuned to picking up on the good things people say, and look forward to writing them in my book, so it’s started a positive cycle- thanks Bruna!

    1. Well said Gaynor, it really takes you to a positive cycle in which you can be happily trapped when you want (or need!) to smile!
      What about spending 10 minutes into your LoveFolder right before a job interview? or an audition? or simply a date? 🙂

  2. Barbara Rocci

    Oh wow, this is a really good suggestion! Such an inspiring post. I tend to forget about good feedbacks, almost like they are something to hide.
    The LOVE FOLDER is a great idea

    1. You’re most welcome, Barbara. The key thing here is having your LoveFolder accessible from your smartphone so you can access it anytime. A good excuse to re-celebrate your achievements 😉

  3. Chiara D Anna

    This is a fantastic ‘exercise’. It’s a brilliant tool that helped me to realise how many great experiences and achievements I had simply ‘forgotten’…and taken for granted. It is a very powerful work. And it should be done regularly. We tend to focus on what is not there (yet), rather than looking at all the things that we ‘ve already achieved. Such a bias and unsupportive way to view ourselves and our life. thank you for sharing this great tool Bruna!

    1. More than happy to share it, Chiara. And if you want to add an extra-boost, why not creating sub-folders specifically for “career”, “family”, “relationships” and “look” so you can dive into specific achievements-area?

  4. Kemi Soremekun

    This is such a cool idea. I do something similar for my work but never thought to do so for myself. Thank you and I really like the label “love folder”

    1. Bruna De Palo

      You’re welcome, Kemi. Try and let me know, you’ll be amazed! Just find a way to collect there anything, so not just email, but also pictures of great birthday cards you received, as well as texts, cards you received with flowers and so on! Have fun 🙂

  5. SImona Di Napoli

    Just tried!!! I’ve no words to explain how powerful this simple exercise is. I was going through a very gloomy period of my life and then I decided to follow your suggestion…well I managed to find the harmony and the joy that was hidden somewhere into myself! Thank you so much for every precious gift you give us so generously!!

  6. Luisa

    I love the “love Folder” Idea.
    I have never thought about it, but it is so true that we all receive compliments and thanks that we never treasure as we should and write them down so that when in needs they can become a boost for self esteem and positive triggers to challenge our negativity and fears.

    1. Exactly! A few minutes browsing that folder can work our magic! It’s treasure, it’s ours, and we should use it often 😉 I hope you’ll enjoy building your LoveFolder!

  7. Pierre Fr

    I agree with previous comments: this is a great idea! I’ve started a Love Folder and I’m using an app that syncs on my laptop and on my phone, so I can have it with me when moving around. But no matter the tech, it’s fun to collect positive feedback and experiences.

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Bruna De Palo - Life Coach London

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