Sometimes you're stuck. You want a better job, buy a bigger house or improve your relationship with your kids.

Yet no matter how hard you try, you don't get them.

And here's why: "You can never rise above your self-image* ".
(a brain lesson we should have been taught at school – so if you have kids, teach them so!)

Our self-image is the way we see ourselves, it determines our behaviour and our areas of reach, aka what’s possible for us.

In other words: if I see myself as a banker, my mind won't even see the ad for the role of CEO at Google when I browse job sites, because it isn’t in my perceived area of reach. And that's fine.

Unless I was born to be the CEO at Google...

In practice, your self-image draws an imaginary line between you and the rest of the world, allowing you to achieve only what's included within those boundaries.

This can give you an idea:

So you're basically trapped in a transparent cage and that’s why, in the past, you tried hard to achieve something and missed it/failed it.

We’ve all been there and it feels hopeless, indeed.

But… there's an interesting "but" here.

If it's true that we can never rise above our self-image, it is also true that if we raise that image first, then we naturally expand our area of reach.

And that's what it means, literally, raising your bar: it means raising the way you see yourself first and then taking the actions needed to achieve your goal. The opposite wouldn't make sense because your self-image it's so powerful that would sabotage your efforts along the way. 

So here's how you raise your self-image:

• Find out where your self-image is at now, and why (let's say "x")
• Identify where it needs to be to achieve what you want (let's say "y")
• Clarify what someone like you, who's at "y", believes, thinks and does instead
• Analyse the gap and draw a plan to raise "x" to "y"

Now let's break it down into actionable steps:

Draw a vertical line and divide it into 10 segments. 1 to 10 where 1 = you don't even see yourself and 10 = feeling totally confident (Sir Richard Branson it’s a good representation of what it means to be at 10, isn't he?)

Now ask yourself:
Where am I right now? Where do I see myself? Consider your self-esteem, confidence, self-efficacy and so on.
The most common answer I receive from my clients is 4/5. What's your number?

Explore why you said "x":
What beliefs, thoughts, actions and behaviours make me say so? In what contexts do I notice them? Reflect on the situations where you manifested being at "x", be very specific, and bring concrete examples.

Then ask yourself:

• At what number should my self-image be to include "abc" (better job, bigger house etc)?
• Where does my self-image need to be so that it's in my area of reach? (Often my clients say 7/8 so let's use that).
• What will be differently once I'm at 7/8?
• What opportunities will open up for me then, that are not available now? Life, work, finances, relationships and so on.
• How would I behave if I was at 7/8? What would I do differently? What beliefs would sustain that behaviour?
• And what new belief, thought, or action do I need to embrace now to tend to 7/8?

make a plan:
Now you have all the elements you need to consider to bridge the gap between where you are now ("x") and where you want to be ("y").

Once you identify those beliefs, actions and behaviour turn them into practical actions that raise your self-image.
Only after you've consciously raised your self-image then it makes sense to proceed with other actions.

It's as simple as that: if you're not where you'd like to be, this exercise helps you identify the exact beliefs, actions and steps you need to focus on to get there. That's how you literally expand your life and access more opportunities to feel alive, fulfilled, on purpose.

TL;DR

1. If what you want to achieve seems unreachable, work on your self-image first
2. Visualise how you'd feel and behave if you have already achieved it
3. Analyse the differences in behaviour, believes, thinking process
4. Draw a plan of action that will reduce the gap
   

That's all for today, I hope you enjoyed it.

My clients say that their life became juicier since they started raising their bar and I’d love to hear from you too how it goes? Hit reply and keep me posted.

See you in two weeks, same place, same time.

Have a fab weekend,

P.S. Who do you know that can benefit from it? Help them by sharing it!

*Source: Psycho-Cybernetics, Updated and Expanded, by Maxwell Maltz, ed. 2015.